Last....

One last call...to hear your voice

One last plea...to let me in

One last whisper...to say I love you

One last whimper...to say it pains

One last tear... to forever embed you in my heart

A plea...

How does one go from being the love that was much cherished to become the unrequited love that a heart mourns every moment?

You chose to stop loving me while I chose never to stop loving you ever.
You chose to ignore my silent pleas and concentrate on my shortcomings.
I chose to ignore your mistakes and look deep within you and understand your pain and the demons you were fighting in your head and heart.

We both had demons we were fighting, whose demon was more frightening is a futile argument.
We had momentarily had our hearts filled with despair and distrust but I found strength in your love to rise above that poisonous cloud.

I was determined to not let anything take you away from me because you were and are the love of my life, my source of sustenance, my heart, my soul, my storm and my peace.
You were my zen and my chaos.
You completed me.

We lost a dream together when we lost that spark of life growing within me...in my despair, I tried reaching out to you, in your despair, you cringed away from me...turning my despair and desperation into blinding rage that burnt your heart and sizzled the tears into oblivion.
I faltered and in doing so my hand slipped from yours and I fell into the deep dark abyss of nothingness.

My existence is void of soul, of love, of happiness.
I exist now to simply exist in a world I can't fathom nor trust nor feel.
As I stare into the void, burning tears race down my cheeks.
I close my eyes imagining your fingers wiping away the pain.
Yet I know it may never be.

You are not to blame, neither am I...we both are doing what we know is true...me, loving you,  as you walk away from me.

You are my love, my life...now all that is left is to learn how to live a lifeless existence.

The heart wants to give up, the mind is blank but somehow I know I have to trudge along...the journey isn't over yet.

There are mouths to feed, bodies to clothe, people to take care of...so I conjure the plastic smile, put my chin up and walk bravely.

Just that no one sees the glazed eyes and the tears that I promptly wipe...