Armaan

Inayat hai khuda ki,

Jo Tere dil mein panaah mila.

Tujhpe yakeen na kiya,

Tauheen hui yeh humse.

Gustaakh dil ne arzi Di hai,

Ab maaf bhi kar ae sanam.

Tere ibadat mein dum nikle,

Bas yahin Armaan,

Ab in saanson se nikle!

Gustaakhi maaf

Tere nazron ki ruhaaniyat,

Shiddat deti hain uns ko.

Tere qurbat ke Chahat mein

Hayat moajaza si lage.

Maraasim ki justju mein sukoon khoya.

Ranjish-e-dil ne alfaaz fanaa kiye.

Tashreeh kya de aapko?

Tadbeer dhoondne chale the,

Judai ka gham bhulne ko.

Inayaat Na dikhi,

Bas kohram machaye chale aye.

Translation:

The soulfulness  of your eyes

Lends intensity to love.

The need for your closeness,

Makes life look like a miracle.

I’ve lost peace in my search for relations.

The anguished heart destroyed all words.

What explanation should I give you?

I was searching for a solution

To forget the pain of separation.

I missed seeing my blessings, (and)

Just created chaos and came back.

When we sleep...

Note to self...

Last....

One last call...to hear your voice

One last plea...to let me in

One last whisper...to say I love you

One last whimper...to say it pains

One last tear... to forever embed you in my heart

A plea...

How does one go from being the love that was much cherished to become the unrequited love that a heart mourns every moment?

You chose to stop loving me while I chose never to stop loving you ever.
You chose to ignore my silent pleas and concentrate on my shortcomings.
I chose to ignore your mistakes and look deep within you and understand your pain and the demons you were fighting in your head and heart.

We both had demons we were fighting, whose demon was more frightening is a futile argument.
We had momentarily had our hearts filled with despair and distrust but I found strength in your love to rise above that poisonous cloud.

I was determined to not let anything take you away from me because you were and are the love of my life, my source of sustenance, my heart, my soul, my storm and my peace.
You were my zen and my chaos.
You completed me.

We lost a dream together when we lost that spark of life growing within me...in my despair, I tried reaching out to you, in your despair, you cringed away from me...turning my despair and desperation into blinding rage that burnt your heart and sizzled the tears into oblivion.
I faltered and in doing so my hand slipped from yours and I fell into the deep dark abyss of nothingness.

My existence is void of soul, of love, of happiness.
I exist now to simply exist in a world I can't fathom nor trust nor feel.
As I stare into the void, burning tears race down my cheeks.
I close my eyes imagining your fingers wiping away the pain.
Yet I know it may never be.

You are not to blame, neither am I...we both are doing what we know is true...me, loving you,  as you walk away from me.

You are my love, my life...now all that is left is to learn how to live a lifeless existence.

The heart wants to give up, the mind is blank but somehow I know I have to trudge along...the journey isn't over yet.

There are mouths to feed, bodies to clothe, people to take care of...so I conjure the plastic smile, put my chin up and walk bravely.

Just that no one sees the glazed eyes and the tears that I promptly wipe...

Don't let her go...

"My Love", she beckoned to him.

Arms outstretched, tears drenching her sweet face,

Scarlett lips trembling with anticipation.

He turned back, eyes flashing in anger.

Strong hand gripped the pale, slender neck

The dark of his skin making her white look ethereal

Her bountiful bosom heaved with labour

As she gasped for air

With loving eyes she looked up to his handsome face

Distance made her heart fonder, but his heart did not reciprocate

She had tried in vain to show her unflinching love

He said she smothered him

Every step, every word, every gesture – misunderstood, misinterpreted, mistaken

The more she tried to come close, the more he drifted apart

Like a mirage in a desert

She raised a delicate hand to touch his face one last time

Then she slumped into nothingness

He realised his loss

But his passionate kisses and warm tears couldn’t bring her back

In a moment of rage, all was lost

Love died in the arms of its beloved

He weeps still…

Longs for her to come back and smother him with her love…

A love that he threw away, a love like no other

A love that only her eyes brimmed with…a love lost forever!

The Story of the Blues...

He was blue, so was she,
They painted their faces so no one could see...
Their unique identity. 
She looked for a blue, and so did he;
They passed each other and couldn’t see,
All their lives they looked, but never knew,
That the one they looked for had passed right through!